Wednesday, March 04, 2015

Stephen Covey on how to fall back in love

At one seminar where I was speaking on the concept of proactivity, a man came up and said, "Stephen, I like what you're saying.  But every situation is so different.  Look at my marriage.  I'm really worried.  My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have.  I guess I just don't love her anymore and she doesn't love me.  What can I do?" 

   "The feeling isn't there anymore?" I asked.  

  "That's right," he reaffirmed. 

"And we have three children we're really concerned about.  What do you suggest?" 

   "Love her," I replied.   

"I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore." 

   "Love her."   

"You don't understand.  The feeling of love just isn't there." 

   "Then love her.  If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her."

    "But how do you love when you don't love?"   

"My friend, love is a verb.  Love -- the feeling -- is a fruit of love the verb.  So love her.  Sacrifice.  Listen to her.  Empathize.  Appreciate.  Affirm her.  Are you willing to do that?"

Stephen Covey 7 Habits of Highly Effective Living 

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